Where's Waldo???

Remember this game? Who doesn't?! Did you play it to pass time in the car or when you were bored? Did you find it rewarding or aggravating? Did you ever skip a page because you simply, after hours could not find Waldo? This maybe a silly analogy but its the best I could do under the circumstances(you know lemons to lemonade). I turn to all different resources for answers, I begin and end with the Word but I do my fair share of research through books and blogs and to tell you the truth it is addicting and draining. I have read and re read a book called "When the Cradle is Empty" it is a Christian book by Focus on the Family and it deals with coping with infertility. I can not say my husband or I have accepted the fact we may never get pregnant, we are not to that point and may never be......thankfully God has expanded our hearts and minds to accepting and wanting to build our family through other ways, some raise ethical and moral questions but we have always been confidant with our choice of trying IVF. I have to admit I still have all my medication for another round of IVF sitting in the frig and in a large bag in the back of the pantry, I'm not ready to give that part of my life up, it reminds me of a painful yet very loving time in our marriage where we really had to lean on one another and provide comfort when there were no words. God was preparing our hearts for something more than we could imagine and the work is not done for we still have many difficult decisions ahead of us. It has taken me awhile to prepare this entry because we have been in rough spot with our agency and completing some very important documents. Our agency is in the process of "rearranging" the international program and for us that means a longer wait and when you wait you wander and wandering can be good or bad but that is where we are.

I have so much to learn
and my growth is very slow,
Sometimes I need the mountaintops,
But it's in the valleys I grow.
I do not always understand
Why things happen as they do,
But I am very sure of one thing,
My Lord will see me through.
My little valleys are nothing
When I picture Christ on the cross.
He went through the valley of death;
His victory was Satan's lost.
Forgive me, Lord, for complaining
When I'm feeling so very low,
Just give me a gentle reminder
That's it's in the valleys I grow.
Continue to strengthen me, Lord,
And use my life each day
To share your love with others
And help them find their way.
Thank you for the valleys, Lord,
For this one thing I know:
The mountaintops are glorious
But it's in the valleys I grow!

From "When the Cradle is Empty