"BABY, I am having contractions every 10 minutes" This was my alarm Thursday morning, October 20 at 6:20 am as the text came across my phone. The best alarm ever. I quickly called Bobbie and sure enough she said she was ready to go and was calling an ambulance to get her. We planned to meet at Tampa General as quickly as possible. I called Mike at work, my mom, and my brother to let him know I would not be at work. I headed straight to the hospital and met Bobbie in triage. She was checked out immediately and was dilated at 7. We both looked at each other and new this was it. They prepared a room for her and off we were to labor and delivery. At this point my mom and Mike were on their way but things were moving quickly, I was nervous. Bobbie was having contractions, I felt helpless as she moaned in pain. There was a situation that I was asked to leave the room so the doctor could discuss some medical info that was private. I don't know if it was not knowing that scared me or just the fact my emotions were at there highest but as soon as I saw my mom in the waiting room I cried, I wanted this to be my baby and I wanted her to be healthy. This was all really happening. As I was escorted back to Bobbie Mike and our caseworker showed up. Thank goodness I could not be alone in this. It was time for the epidural and we all had to wait outside the room. My dad had arrived so we waited and waited I just wanted to be in there with her. I cannot ever explain the feelings that you go through it felt surreal. Our caseworker, Mike, and I got the ok to return and Bobbie was feeling good thanks to the medicine. She went through a few more contractions, rolled over got sick, and her water broke. Just like that things were in motion. The Dr said she was ready for delivery but were we?? We knew that at least either way this would all be over by the weekend and that is something that would be a huge relief. We would either have a daughter or we wouldn't. I was asked to hold Bobbie's leg as she pushed I never dreamed I would be this close to birth. Bobbie started pushing and with a little encouragement I saw sweet baby making her way out. Mike was able to stand behind her and witness the whole thing also. We kept looking at each other knowing that this was the day we had waited 4 years for. This was our blessing no matter the outcome. Through the tears I was able to see baby L make her grand entrance. Baby L was born at 12:55 pm, 21 inches long, and weighed a healthy 8.4 pounds. It was a miracle, a heartache, pure love, and then on top of that to try not to get attached. Mike cut the umbilical cord and I do believe at that moment he fell in love too. The nurses cleaned her up as Mike and I watched then they immediately handed her to us. I thank you Bobbie for letting us hold her first. We cried, we loved on her but we had to remind each other that she is not ours. She is Bobbies. They cleaned up Bobbie and we fed Baby L her first bottle, we did all baby's firsts. Since Mike was running on no sleep he went home for a few hours while I stayed. Amazing was that Bobbie never once cried I didn't know if this was good or bad was she thinking she was taking her home or was she secure in her decision and didn't feel sad. It was difficult but moments together I will never forget. My mom, dad, and sister were able to come in within the first hour of life and love on baby L too, Bobbie just watched. We were moved into another room for the remainder of her stay and Mike and I stayed with Bobbie and baby L till the evening. The most difficult part was watching Bobbie hold or feed I couldn't watch and I knew I couldn't stay the night even though she had asked me too. Mike & I left for dinner and over Chipotle we discussed the very real fact that we had no idea what Bobbie was thinking. Words are one thing emotions and actions are another. We decided after prayer,discussion with each other and a heart to heart with my mom that if we stayed the night or not it would not make this baby ours. We headed back to hospital said our goodbyes for the night. I asked Bobbie if she would like me take the baby to the nursery she said no, my heart ached inside knowing they would bond the entire night.
*sorry haven't learned how to rotate the pics from my mac!
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